” ....it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.”
Am fost aseara sa vad acest film. Nu mi-am propus sa fac o recenzie a lui, dar am descoperit ca trebuie sa scriu despre aceasta experienta.
Filmul in sine are un subiect greu de digerat din punct de vedere medical. Benjamin Button se naste cu fizionomia si sanatatea unui om de 80 de ani. Si de acolo incepe sa descreasca. La 10 ani arata de 70. La 20 de ani arata de 60...etc...
Problema nu ar fi fost asta, daca nu s-ar fi indragostit. De ea...o fata normala, care creste cum trebuie sa creasca. Iar de aici...intreaga drama a filmului...
Dincolo de povestea de dragoste reusita, e un film care din nou iti arata ca asa e viata. Indiferent ca el descreste sau creste in varsta, indiferent de cat acumulezi sau pierzi in viata, indiferent cat iubesti sau urasti in viata....totul se reduce la:”all we have is now”...si “you never know what’s coming your way”....Atat de simplu dar atat de dureros de adevarat.
Si nu m-a tulburat durerea unei iubiri condamnate de la bun inceput, nu m-a tulburat povestea de background care a insotit filmul, nu m-a tulburat fiecare alta mica istorioara care s-a intersectat cu subiectul principal....chiar brad pitt nu m-a tulburat intr-atat cat m-au miscat cuvintele: “at the end you have to let go”.
Stiu ca o viata construita pe principiul “all we have is now” ar putea deveni egoista...nepasatoare...neinteleasa pentru cei din jur....dar dupa cum bine spunea Quennie: “Everyone feels different about themselves one way or another, but we all goin' the same way.”
Inutil sa mai zic ca la final jumate de sala plangea. Iar aceasta jumate includea femei si barbate deopotriva.
...No words...
luni, 23 februarie 2009
duminică, 22 februarie 2009
Wrong...
Si s-au intors. Am asteptat ieri cu sufletul la gura pentru acest videoclip, in premiera mondiala. De maine va fi auzit si la radio, asa ca ma grabesc sa il afisez aici.
Sunt buni...de parca m-as fi indoit vreo clipa...Cred ca va fi un concert incendiar, daca judeci numai dupa background-ul din videoclip. Am crezut ca Touring the Angel a fost sumbru, ca un cosmar devenit realitate, ca un strigat intepenit in gat si ce nu se verbalizeaza. Cred insa ca vor reusi mai mult acum.
16 mai....here i come !
Enjoy!!!
Sunt buni...de parca m-as fi indoit vreo clipa...Cred ca va fi un concert incendiar, daca judeci numai dupa background-ul din videoclip. Am crezut ca Touring the Angel a fost sumbru, ca un cosmar devenit realitate, ca un strigat intepenit in gat si ce nu se verbalizeaza. Cred insa ca vor reusi mai mult acum.
16 mai....here i come !
Enjoy!!!
sâmbătă, 21 februarie 2009
luni, 16 februarie 2009
Goals define means or means define goals?
Lately I’ve been put up to face different ways of setting up objectives, goals, strategies and tactics. About how important it is to have SMART or SMARTER objective, about how important it is to have a final goal for your life, about how important it is to know who you really are when defining those goals.
True. What I’ve observed though is that people often tend to define their goals by the means they have…which is a misleading process of establishing goals. That way, at the end of the road all you get are adjustments made along the way, adjustments made to get the impression that we are truly working on obtaining our goal, but “the environment” never lets us.
I think it’s a mistake. I believe that there is destiny (seen as a group of factors, causes and effects that affect us and the rest of us) and that there are our decisions, made to affect primarily us and to decide a course of action primarily for us. And from that point of view, establishing the goal is only our decision. After that, there are objectives on short and long term, strategies and tactics which can all be comprised as means. And these are, in a certain manner, influenced by the environment, but as long as the goal is still out there, in front of us, creative people can overcome barriers and find some other means of going to the arrival point.
On the other hand, going along the way, hoping to achieve a goal of whatever importance it might have, will only let the rest of the people and happenings decide our goal. It’s true that sometimes we have to take setbacks and watch our actions somehow undermined, but as long as we know where we are heading, a setback might be looked as a refreshment. On the opposite corner there is going from setback to setback, at the comfortable shadow of: “i knew that I had no means to obtain my goal, so I didn’t bother setting and detailing it.”
I promise I will come back and write about destiny, since I know that there are people wondering about my sentence from above.
In the meantime…I already have my goals established. Yey for me :)
True. What I’ve observed though is that people often tend to define their goals by the means they have…which is a misleading process of establishing goals. That way, at the end of the road all you get are adjustments made along the way, adjustments made to get the impression that we are truly working on obtaining our goal, but “the environment” never lets us.
I think it’s a mistake. I believe that there is destiny (seen as a group of factors, causes and effects that affect us and the rest of us) and that there are our decisions, made to affect primarily us and to decide a course of action primarily for us. And from that point of view, establishing the goal is only our decision. After that, there are objectives on short and long term, strategies and tactics which can all be comprised as means. And these are, in a certain manner, influenced by the environment, but as long as the goal is still out there, in front of us, creative people can overcome barriers and find some other means of going to the arrival point.
On the other hand, going along the way, hoping to achieve a goal of whatever importance it might have, will only let the rest of the people and happenings decide our goal. It’s true that sometimes we have to take setbacks and watch our actions somehow undermined, but as long as we know where we are heading, a setback might be looked as a refreshment. On the opposite corner there is going from setback to setback, at the comfortable shadow of: “i knew that I had no means to obtain my goal, so I didn’t bother setting and detailing it.”
I promise I will come back and write about destiny, since I know that there are people wondering about my sentence from above.
In the meantime…I already have my goals established. Yey for me :)
vineri, 13 februarie 2009
Murphy's Laws about love and not only :))
MURPHY’S LAWS
1. The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.
2. Nothing improves with age.
3. No matter how many times you’ve had it, if it’s offered take it, because it’ll never be quite the same again.
4. Sex has no calories.
5. Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
6. There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
7. Sex appeal is 50% what you’ve got and 50% what people think you’ve got.
8. No sex with anyone in the same office.
9. Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.
10. A man in the house is worth two in the street.
11. If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
12. Virginity can be cured.
13. When a man’s wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.
14. Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
15. The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can’t stand years later.
16. Sex is dirty only if it’s done right.
17. It is always the wrong time of month.
18. The best way to hold a man is in your arms.
19. When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.
20. Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won’t either.
21. Sow your wild oats on Saturday night — Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.
22. The younger the better.
23. The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.
24. It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.
25. Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.
27. Before you find your handsome prince, you’ve got to kiss a lot of frogs.
28. There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.
29. Love your neighbor, but don’t get caught.
30. Love is a hole in the heart.
31. If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon.
32. Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.
33. Do it only with the best.
34. Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.
35. One good turn gets most of the blankets.
36. You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.
37. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
38. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
39. Thou shalt not commit adultery…..unless in the mood.
40. Never lie down with a woman who’s got more troubles than you.
41. Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.
42. Never argue with a women when she’s tired — or rested.
43. A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn’t.
44. What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
45. It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
46. Never say no.
47. A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn’t love her.
48. Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.
49. Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.
50. Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.
51. A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.
52. Love comes in spurts.
53. The world does not revolve on an axis.
54. Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.
55. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
56. Don’t do it if you can’t keep it up.
57. There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.
58. Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.
59. Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
60. “This won’t hurt, I promise,”
1. The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.
2. Nothing improves with age.
3. No matter how many times you’ve had it, if it’s offered take it, because it’ll never be quite the same again.
4. Sex has no calories.
5. Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
6. There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
7. Sex appeal is 50% what you’ve got and 50% what people think you’ve got.
8. No sex with anyone in the same office.
9. Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.
10. A man in the house is worth two in the street.
11. If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
12. Virginity can be cured.
13. When a man’s wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.
14. Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
15. The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can’t stand years later.
16. Sex is dirty only if it’s done right.
17. It is always the wrong time of month.
18. The best way to hold a man is in your arms.
19. When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.
20. Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won’t either.
21. Sow your wild oats on Saturday night — Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.
22. The younger the better.
23. The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.
24. It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.
25. Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.
27. Before you find your handsome prince, you’ve got to kiss a lot of frogs.
28. There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.
29. Love your neighbor, but don’t get caught.
30. Love is a hole in the heart.
31. If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon.
32. Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.
33. Do it only with the best.
34. Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.
35. One good turn gets most of the blankets.
36. You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.
37. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
38. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
39. Thou shalt not commit adultery…..unless in the mood.
40. Never lie down with a woman who’s got more troubles than you.
41. Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.
42. Never argue with a women when she’s tired — or rested.
43. A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn’t.
44. What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
45. It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
46. Never say no.
47. A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn’t love her.
48. Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.
49. Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.
50. Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.
51. A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.
52. Love comes in spurts.
53. The world does not revolve on an axis.
54. Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.
55. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
56. Don’t do it if you can’t keep it up.
57. There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.
58. Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.
59. Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
60. “This won’t hurt, I promise,”
duminică, 1 februarie 2009
Should we get married? Or should we divorce?
The talks i've been having lately managed to get me asking myself a lot of questions about life...
So...today we have:"get married, don't die an old maid" dilemma.
Our society seemed to have evolved in the past few years. We've begun to understand that it's ok to talk, it's ok to share your feelings, it's ok to admit that you have this personality and not another one, it's ok to let go and be yourself.
All that and yet....we've gone nowhere. The cultural bullshit is still so much present in our lives and the beliefs we have still hold us back. One of the issues i'm getting from the surroundings is that, if you're reached a certain age and you're not married, you definitely have a problem. Where is this evolution that people talk about, that people are able to be themselves without a certain someone beside? And i'm not talking only about women, which is definitely a burning subject all around me, but also about men...
I have one good friend that calculates the year's season in function of his ability of being with somebody or not: "getting to know a new person can only happen during autumn and winter". I have another friend that started to calculate the years in:"12 months until getting to really know somebody, 12 months to get married, 12 months of being just the 2 of us, and 9 months to have a baby". It's freaking me out. I'm not saying that it's a bad stuff to get married, but our life doesn't depend on it, does it?
So seeing that, i've started to do some research, not about getting married ("Top 10 tips of how to get married faster" :)) ), but about divorce, since one marriage out of two end in it. Yes, current divorce statistics in America is estimated at 50%. The Americans for Divorce Reform estimates that "Probably, 40 or possibly even 50 percent of marriages will end in divorce if current trends continue."
Regarding the age when married, the divorce rate is like this:
Age__________________Women______Men
Under 20 years old_____27.6%_____11.7%
20 to 24 years old_____36.6%_____38.8%
25 to 29 years old_____16.4%_____22.3%
30 to 34 years old______8.5%_____11.6%
35 to 39 years old______5.1%______6.5%
And if, after your first failed marriage, you decide to do it again, well, you should think twice about it, because the divorce rate goes higher:the divorce rate in America for first marriage is 41%, for second marriage is 60% and for third marriage is 73%.
Seeing all these, i've started to wonder why marriages fail. Not all marriages fail for the same reason, that's for sure. Nor is there usually one reason for the breakdown of a particular marriage. Nevertheless, i've found some reasons more often than others, which are:
-Poor communication
-Financial problems
-A lack of commitment to the marriage
-A dramatic change in priorities
-Infidelity
There are other causes we see a lot, but not quite as often as those listed above, which are:
-Failed expectations or unmet needs
-Addictions and substance abuse
-Physical, sexual or emotional abuse
-Lack of conflict resolution skills
So, after this, i started to wonder how come this happens. Since we all seem to be so eager to get married (meaning that we definitely are ready, since is somehow the first thing on everybody's list lately), what happens during it? Wouldn't it be more fare to us to learn first of all to communicate? (at least 5 out of 9 of the problem of above are due to lack of communication). I mean, getting married is not a solution to a problem, as many of us seem to look at it. Perhaps we shouldn't calculate our time in months until a serious relationship/marriage, but invest it in something more useful, like "how to communicate exaclty what's on your mind" or "how to set up the right expectations" or "how to take what is said exactly like that and never interpret more".
So...today we have:"get married, don't die an old maid" dilemma.
Our society seemed to have evolved in the past few years. We've begun to understand that it's ok to talk, it's ok to share your feelings, it's ok to admit that you have this personality and not another one, it's ok to let go and be yourself.
All that and yet....we've gone nowhere. The cultural bullshit is still so much present in our lives and the beliefs we have still hold us back. One of the issues i'm getting from the surroundings is that, if you're reached a certain age and you're not married, you definitely have a problem. Where is this evolution that people talk about, that people are able to be themselves without a certain someone beside? And i'm not talking only about women, which is definitely a burning subject all around me, but also about men...
I have one good friend that calculates the year's season in function of his ability of being with somebody or not: "getting to know a new person can only happen during autumn and winter". I have another friend that started to calculate the years in:"12 months until getting to really know somebody, 12 months to get married, 12 months of being just the 2 of us, and 9 months to have a baby". It's freaking me out. I'm not saying that it's a bad stuff to get married, but our life doesn't depend on it, does it?
So seeing that, i've started to do some research, not about getting married ("Top 10 tips of how to get married faster" :)) ), but about divorce, since one marriage out of two end in it. Yes, current divorce statistics in America is estimated at 50%. The Americans for Divorce Reform estimates that "Probably, 40 or possibly even 50 percent of marriages will end in divorce if current trends continue."
Regarding the age when married, the divorce rate is like this:
Age__________________Women______Men
Under 20 years old_____27.6%_____11.7%
20 to 24 years old_____36.6%_____38.8%
25 to 29 years old_____16.4%_____22.3%
30 to 34 years old______8.5%_____11.6%
35 to 39 years old______5.1%______6.5%
And if, after your first failed marriage, you decide to do it again, well, you should think twice about it, because the divorce rate goes higher:the divorce rate in America for first marriage is 41%, for second marriage is 60% and for third marriage is 73%.
Seeing all these, i've started to wonder why marriages fail. Not all marriages fail for the same reason, that's for sure. Nor is there usually one reason for the breakdown of a particular marriage. Nevertheless, i've found some reasons more often than others, which are:
-Poor communication
-Financial problems
-A lack of commitment to the marriage
-A dramatic change in priorities
-Infidelity
There are other causes we see a lot, but not quite as often as those listed above, which are:
-Failed expectations or unmet needs
-Addictions and substance abuse
-Physical, sexual or emotional abuse
-Lack of conflict resolution skills
So, after this, i started to wonder how come this happens. Since we all seem to be so eager to get married (meaning that we definitely are ready, since is somehow the first thing on everybody's list lately), what happens during it? Wouldn't it be more fare to us to learn first of all to communicate? (at least 5 out of 9 of the problem of above are due to lack of communication). I mean, getting married is not a solution to a problem, as many of us seem to look at it. Perhaps we shouldn't calculate our time in months until a serious relationship/marriage, but invest it in something more useful, like "how to communicate exaclty what's on your mind" or "how to set up the right expectations" or "how to take what is said exactly like that and never interpret more".
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